I need some Faith! A Devine retelling of Devastator X and The Sun Goddess (open to anyone & Faith Devine)

[Jasonic]

Devastator X will walk out to the ring, amid a chorus of boos and jeers from the EFW fanbase. He will turn towards the crowd, and hold up a finger. He will then ssshhh them and pull the microphone he normally carries up to his mouth.
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Devastator X: "WElCOME TO THURSDAY NIGHT EFW IS NOT DEVASTATOR X!!!! Why is it not Devastator X you might ask, well because it is low class, has no standards, and panders to the toothless EFW fanbase that can only afford the discounted ticket price. So hello all you redneck, lowclass, trailer park trash, get off your sister and first cousin, brain dead morons. I'm not here tonight to address you posers, you substance abusers, you losers, the driftwood of the digital age. No tonight I am here to address something that warrants attention, something that possess all the qualities none of you could ever have. I am here to address something beautiful, sassy, and tart. I am referring to my newly appointed Sun Goddess!!!!"
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The form of Faith Devine will appear on the big screen.
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Devastator X: "FAITH DEVINE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sweet, sassy, and oh so classy. A firebrand in the ring, and from what I hear....well I never kiss and tell! As a wealthy business man, and accomplished wrestler, I am always looking for anything that can enlighten Devastating Darkness and The Agenda. After seeing her bio and her profile on the EFW website I got some immediate attention for her. Something about her charisma, that shouldn't be wasted on the likes of all you ham and eggers. No someone like Faith Devine should be wined and dined on the Damon's Steak House of shows, not Thursday Night EFW, the Shoney's Buffet of the wrestling world. So I am calling Faith Devine out here to offer exclusive rights for Sunday Night EFW, and if she agrees and EFW management doesn't agree, then I'll destroy the Thursday Night Show instead. So come on out Faith, and grace the Darkness with your Devine light!"
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Looks at the stage entrance and waits.
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[Faith Devine]

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On cue a new EFW song starts to play, 'Gotta Have Faith' by Europe.
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It's a short intro as the new EFW superstar Faith Devine steps out onto the stage and stops right there. She stares with an incredulous look, hands on her hips in bewilderment, at the huge painted man inside the ring.
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Faith rasies a mic to speak....
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Faith: "Wait! ..... WHAT!?"
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The crowd yells "What!?" back!
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Faith: "Now let me get this straight .... I've just gotten off a plane here in Italy, haven't even had time to unpacked my bags and the ink on my contract isn't dry yet and I've already got some funny tiger costumed whacko calling me out for some kind of stalkerfest?"
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Faith: "Maybe I need to check my lotto ticket because I must have won a million bucks and no one told me because I'd never thought I'd be THIS popular so quickly in the EFW!"
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Faith lowers the mic for a moment to stare at ring in confusion.
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[Jasonic]

Devastator X will laugh and nod. He looks down at his outrageous ring attire, the immaculate hand painted tiger stripes. He lets the crowd heckle him for a short time and will finally sshhh the crowd with his finger again. He will then pull the microphone to his lips and address Faith Devine.
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Devastator X: "The one, the only, Faith Devine! One of the biggest hirings in the short span of the EFW's history. A true firebrand of a competitor, beautiful above all others, and extremely charismatic. It shouldn't surprise somebody with your talent and ability. As far as stalking, well not anymore, maybe back in the old days, when it was boiler rooms and blood letting. No today Devastating Darkness is established to the point where we can walk amongst the throngs of worthless driftwood, namely the EFW fans. Sure we still have a boiler room for nefarious effects, but ever since Deva-Metal Records became publicly traded and I sued my lawyers for a big city fortune, it's fast cars, fast jets, and even faster women for us. Faith Devine you are rare commodity, seldom seen, the total package in a woman's body, and we mean to turn you from contendor to title defender. You see with The Overlord we have brawn and endurance, with Damien Darkness we have another total package, brains, brawn, endurance, and speed, with yours truely, Devastator X. The Agenda has the brains of a CEO and the muscle of three men. What could complete us? What could push us over the edge to the stratosphere of running the EFW, you, the Sun Goddess, the most marketable face the EFW has seen. I'm not stalking you Faith Devine, I'm offering you a instant insurance policy, three equalizers of unadulterated proportions. I'm offering you the fast track to EFW superstardom on a silver platter."
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Devastator X will smile and look back ot Faith Devine, a devil of a smile on his lips.
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[Faith Devine]

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Faith peers at the tiger man in the ring with bemusement now...
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Faith: "What!? Unadulterated portions? What is that suppose to mean? Anyway, #1 thanks for blowing smoke up my rear. And #2 me needing an insurance policy or a fast track to superstardom ...... Hmm, let me think about it ..... join the Dr. Spooky fanclub and have teaparties in some cliche' Freddy Kruger wannabe boiler room? How about I say, DROP DEAD FRED! I think I'll just go about gaining my fame the old fashion way around here, I'm gonna EARN it!"
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Faith shows the figure in the ring her 'talk to the hand' pose.
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Faith: "You know what? I've got better things to do like prepare for my very first EFW match next week. So I'll tell you what I'm going to do Mr. Freakmaster D. I'm going to go back into the locker room and consult with your mother so we can decide what kind of funny costume to dress you into tomorrow. OK? Thanks. Bye."
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Faith turns and heads up the tunnel as the crowd cheers for what she said!
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OOC I'm done, doubt I can add anymore this evening. Feel free to blast me back.

[Jasonic]

Devastator X will simply smile and nod, he drops his microphone and will walk back towards the back. A camera will focus in on his face and the Man Monster of Devastating Darkness and The Agenda will just smile and shrug. He seems content with the answer he has received tonight.

(end segment)

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