The Ballad of Jason Davis! (Open to Anyone)

[Jasonic]

Jason Davis will be seen seated on a simple bar stool, with a acoustic guitar in his lap. He will look at the camera and will pull a pick from between his teeth. He will then strum the guitar, like a ace, but upon further inspection the music must be dubbed in since his guitar pick strokes don't match the music. He is dressed like a country rock star, straw cowboy hat, sun glasses, some flannel shirt unbuttoned to show his massive gun barrel broad chest. Standard blue jeans with ripped knees, and some nice cowboy boots. He appears to be dressed to the teeth for this new 'role' as singer & song writer. He will begin to sing to the music, badly.
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"Alexis, you're the bestest!"
"You're the number onest, next to Texas!"
"You got pretty hair!"
"Bet it smells the goodest!"
-
"I'm a hee-honk-a-hill-billy!"
"I'm like the EFW fanbase...."
"My brain is itty bitty...."
"I wrote you a song!"
"But this line don't belong."
"Now it's time to succumb to Devastating Darkness!"
-
"Oh Alexis you are the swellest!"
"That hair is purty like something that rhymes with swellest...."
"The other don't compare!"
"Cause they ain't got great hair."
"Now if you could just trade it in for the ability to wrestle."
-
"I'm a hee-honk-a-hill-billy!"
"I'm like the EFW fanbase...."
"My brain is itty bitty...."
"I mean teeny weeny."
"I wrote you a song!"
"But this line don't belong."
"Now it's time to succumb to Devastating Darkness!"
-
"You've got fellas gushin to protect ya'!"
"Too bad you're just gonna get them in traction!"
"When they run into Devastating Darkness' action!"
"They can all team together and call it their Alexis Faction!"
"But with retards like them all they can do is moderately okay back scratchin'!"
-
"So get it through your thick head.."
"Before all of them get dead..."
"You're just not good enough to beat, Devastating Darkness!"
-
The music will speed up into a rockish beat, forcing the country rocker to sing faster to a more heavier beat.
-
"Cause we're...."
"BRUTAL! BRUTAL!"
"BRUTAL! BRUTAL! BRUTAL! BRUTAL! BRUTAL! BRUTAL! BRUTAL!"
Cause we'are....."
"BRUTAL! BRUTAL!"
"BRUTAL! BRUTAL! BRUTAL! BRUTAL! BRUTAL! BRUTAL! BRUTAL!"
"Cause we're...."
"BRUTAL! BRUTAL!"
"BRUTAL! BRUTAL! BRUTAL! BRUTAL! BRUTAL! BRUTAL! BRUTAL!!!!!"
-
The country metal rock star will then stand and bust the guitar on the stool, then he'll bust the stool, then the camera will go black in a swinging chair attack.
-


(open for reaction from the EFW wrestlers)

[Damien Darkness]

(ooc - I laughed my butt off. Perfect song for Devastating Darkness. Record it and we can make it our entrance music.)